“On the day I called, You answered me; You made me bold with strength in my soul.”
Psalm 138:3
It was at the end of month 5 in my World Race adventure when I had the daunting thought that I may have hit my climax in life. What next?
I had dreamed of traveling on this extended missions trip for so long. I anticipated the people, the places and the adventure for three years previous before I finally arrived.
But it was in this one moment…
“What is your immeasurably more? Because God can do immeasurably more that we can dream or imagine…” my squad leaders wise encouragements spilled out of her mouth to 60 of us at debrief.
I remember those words passing by my ears and I sat on the edge of my seat staring at all my fellow squad members and thinking, “YES! IT’S TRUE! BECAUSE I DREAMED THIS DREAM AND NOW I’M HERE!”
And then those wise words actually registered in my brain and all excitement came to a halting stop.
It’s as if my whole life God kept saying “dream bigger..”
So I finally threw my hands up in the air and dreamed my biggest dream.
The cap to my bottle, the tip of my mountain, the brim of my cup — this was the biggest I could dream up.
“It would be cool if..”
“…but that doesn’t exist.”
And then, I found out it did. And it happened.
And I sat and registered those words
“What is your immeasurably more… because God can do more than we can dream or imagine…”
I had the daunting realization that I had lived my greatest dream at the age of 26, and had no idea what I would do next.
Slowly after that realization, I started asking God the hard stuff.
“God, I can’t dream any bigger than this. But I refuse to let these be the best moments of my life. So You’re going to have to help me dream…”
I didn’t know it at the time, but that may have been the boldest prayer of my life thus far.
Fast forward seven months. End of the race.
It was day 323, the last day of travel from my 11-month journey through 11 countries, a long-awaited dream come true.
What now? I still had no idea.
What’s next? I questioned with a pit of doubts rumbling around in my brain.
“Don’t put me in that box. Greater things are coming.” Papa whispered in my ear.
Blindly, I trusted. I can’t really describe the trust, but I just kept speaking it over myself constantly “He can do better” spoken with shrugged arms in the air with very little clue of what “better” looked like.
A month had passed when I boarded the plane to Gainesville, GA for the final debriefing week known as “Project Search Light.” I finally arrived to the place where it all began. Adventures in Missions.
Adventures in Missions is an organization that actively pursues and mobilizes a generation of radicals to train and disciple them for the purpose of building the Kingdom of God. Many types of trips are offered through this organization, the World Race being one of them.
When my bus pulled up to Adventures, there was a bittersweet feeling. There was this feeling that it was over, but I didn’t want it to be. I reminisced the days of training camp as we passed the field where I pitched up my tent for the first time. I breathed in the fresh (humid) GA air as my feet hit the red dirt.
My heart hurt. It was officially over.
“God can do better,” I argued with my feelings.
I remember sitting through sessions, soaking up the words like a sponge. I was trying so hard to force my feelings to coincide with my brain. I finally came to a point where I was so immersed in the moment, that I stopped worrying about the future.
Until the last day at Project Search Light.
I was selected, through the recommendation of a friend (unbeknownst to me, I might add), to be interviewed to work for the organization I ranted and raved about for the previous three years.
With a pit in my stomach I questioned “am I going to be moving to Gainesville? I don’t belong here, this is way too good to be true?!”
Similar thoughts I had when I stumbled upon the Race…
“It’s not too good to be true.” He firmly reminded.
And it wasn’t.
Because I can dream big, but He can dream bigger.
Within the last month, I have accepted the Admissions Advisor position to work for Adventures in Missions.In this role I will work with World Race, World Race Gap Year and Passport trip participants in the beginning stages to guide them administratively, emotionally and spiritually as they prepare to leave the country and step onto the mission field.
As I type these words, it feels like a dream. Without pursuing anything, this fell into my lap.
And isn’t that how He does it?
I had no part in the planning, I had no part in the prep work. He handed it to me on a silver platter.
Though it sounds like whimsy, it’s scary.
I HAVE NO PART IN THIS.
One part, I have one part.
“Yes.”
That’s it.
The World Race was crazy, but this is crazier. But now I see that the World Race was prep work.
The World Race, it was incredible. It was my dream come true.
“My”
But this, this is the immeasurably more.
Because I couldn’t imagine it. My brain couldn’t dream this one up. My brain STILL has a hard time seeing what He’s going to do next and how.
But everything is lining up more perfectly than I could have ever planned on my own.
This will be hard, but this will be beautiful.
He made a promise of sweeter seasons.
I can’t wait to see how it unfolds.
